Realm Of Randomness

March 15, 2008

News you (don’t) need to know

Filed under: Humour,India — Randomizer @ 3:59 pm

Here are some Indian news articles this week that have totally changed my life, and I am so proud to be Indian especially after reading them.

#1 – IIM student from UK prefers working in India (link)

This priceless NDTV article starts ‘Jann Gabriel wants to stay on in India … ‘ and goes on to talk about just that, how this student from UK will accept a job working in India rather than one abroad. Now that this British student has officially forsaken Europe for India, I am filled with immense patriotic fervor towards my mother India and now feel that it is worth something after all. I wish they also ran an article about how she prefers wearing the Indian kurti (like in her photograph) instead of the firangi t-shirt – that would have made me feel great about my Indian culture and dress as well. Alas, a golden opportunity was missed, but I’ll take whatever I get. One shouldn’t be too greedy, right?

#2 – 36% of NASA scientists are of Indian origin (link)

The Minister of state for human resource development, in making his case for higher education in India, quoted in parliament the figure that 36% of NASA scientists , 38% of doctors in the US , and 34% of Microsoft employees are of Indian origin. I was once again filled with great pride at this figure, but read that he got this news from an E-mail forward, and the figures were wrong.

Still, I have learnt to look at the positive aspects of life. Since this act clearly demonstrates that our Minister had the technical expertise to work probably a Microsoft machine, connect to the internet and check his e-mail from an internet site, it shows tremendous improvement in the scientific abilities of our politicians. Since he was making a case for higher education, I think his point must have been well received – that if politicians are able to handle the ground-breaking technological advancements like reading email forwards, then surely regular Indians can do at least something close to this?

I am very proud of this politician and technology whiz-kid. Though his figures were wrong, he has very cleverly got his point across to the nation that higher education definitely has a future for us desis. I wish his critics were clever enough to understand this bigger picture and shut the hell up.

#3 – India is 6th most positively viewed nation, according to Americans (link)

I am very happy that John Smith and Jane Smith think positively of my nation, though I must admit I am a little jealous of the Canadians, Britishers, Germans, Japanese and Israelis that beat us to the much-coveted affections of American civilians. Like our fore-fathers rightly said, “there is nothing better than the acceptance of the white world”. I follow this religiously and try my best every day to beat those Japanese at my work place, and I think I am making a lot of progress with Molly, our 60-year old receptionist. I should ask her some time to revise her nation popularity list … and verify if I have made any headway on this chart.

When my Sri Lankan colleague noticed my efforts at impressing Molly and asked me why I was not making that much of an effort to push India up his popularity charts, I had to give him the bad news: that he was not white and that the browns don’t count.

Tough luck, man.



  1. i thought americans didn’t view anything positively.

    Comment by aniche — March 18, 2008 @ 6:21 pm | Reply

  2. Well, at least George Bush does :). The economy can come crashing down, and another trillion can be spent on the 5th anniversary of the iraq war, but you can always count on our good ol’ W to be cheerful.

    Comment by Randomizer — March 19, 2008 @ 3:48 am | Reply

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